What's the deal with conflict? For some we can't wait to encounter the next royal rumble, for others we are ready to hide under a table and head for cover when disagreements arise....as for me, well, I'm not so keen about conflict (unless I think I'm right...lol).
Part of my understanding about conflict is strongly shaped by my upbringing. Each of our families have given us perspective on what conflict is....avoidable at all costs or important to engage with to have healthy relationships.
Today, I attended a conflict resolution seminar and heard some big ideas about learning about the value of conflict. Coming from a Christian worldview, what did Jesus think of conflict? Over and over Jesus didn't shy away from conflict, but rather chose some key times to bring up issues that he wanted to address to move people toward the kingdom values of God.
So, am I proposing that we just go around trying to create conflict?....No, but I am now starting to understand the value of being around people to ask the question of "help me understand what's your desire is?" Before people think that I haven't heard what they are struggling with and have told all those who would listen, I want to be proactive to sit with those who have something to express. Often, I come to a conflict with only hearing the "position" (quit doing that, or we need to do this)....but there is such deep value in hearing "the why?" What has brought you to this position, and now what are some possible solutions - that you can see?
I am so thankful for those around me who have modeled and taught me to manage conflict well. Two men who have mentored me in the area of conflict management - Ron Toews & James Toews (no relation - I don't think) but both Godly men who care about seeing people become wiser in how to relate to problems around us.
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